My Life is a Lifetime Movie 🎥

I can remember my Mom spending much of her free time on the couch watching Lifetime Movies. I used to get so annoyed by them… until it was my life. Like her soap operas, I always thought those movies were so dramatic and emotional. Why would anyone watch this stuff??? 🥴 It was always bad things happening and sometimes acting as bad as the soap operas.

But eventually I think I found comfort in them. After experiencing childhood sexual abuse, I became invested. Where before they annoyed me, I found myself watching along more. I watched them differently. I didn’t realize at the time but I think I found comfort in other peoples crazy lives even if it was fake. Even if I knew it was just a movie I was still a kid and they were still people. I could look at these movies and think 🤔 Oh Kay - I guess it could be worse. Maybe I was subconsciously searching for answers on what to do.

Even though I wasn’t actively searching out those movies, I wasn’t avoiding them either. I had to know what happened. I think I was desperately waiting for the happy ending or seeing how other people get out of situations similar to mine. 🤔 But at the same time none of it made sense for me and my situation.

Since opening up to David over the last 12 years I’ve found my self referring to my life as “like a lifetime movie”. Just as a quick summary that revealed nothing. 😅 But now as I write this… I realize my life REALLY is like a Lifetime Movie. AND I got the happy ending! 💃

It’s crazy how, digging deep inside and taking the time to understand what those emotions are and where they come from, 🫴🏼 uncovers so much. It’s like you can replay your life in your head from a 3rd party view and say, Wow… okay now let’s figure out how that whole lifetime has influenced who I’ve become today. It takes time but it’s so worth it. 🥹

I’m definitely still in the process of learning where, how, & what has shaped every part of me. But I’m learning myself. I can identify the feelings. I can dig deep and discover where that feeling comes from. 💔 What my body remembers. Connecting those feelings with those memories help you get a handle on controlling and changing them. If you’re uncomfortable and you don’t know why, how are you going to fix it?

I really think the best thing you can do for yourself in this life is to get to know yourself. 🧘🏻‍♀️ Connect with that inner child inside you who lived all those years without adult rationale. Something that may seem trivial or small now may have had a bigger impact than you realize as a child. 💥

Trauma isn’t a certain type of event. It’s how we respond to the event that determines if something is traumatic to someone. Think of a young child having a meltdown over something that seems so small to you. 😭 But in reality (to them) their world is ending. Our bodies store and remember those feelings.

Some researchers believe our bodies can remember trauma as far back as in utero and during birth! 👶🏻 Imagine all those times as kids we felt the world was ending. What if some of those (at the time, traumatic to you, at any age) events are stored in our bodies? What if anxiety and depression all stems from memories stuck inside our bodies? What if we can release them and feel better?

❓Guess what? WE CAN❗️And I’m going to share with you all the ways I find to release those. It starts with recognizing and taking the time to try to understand. You’re not going to instantly figure out where every uncomfortable feeling comes from. 😣 But it gets better! And it’s SO worth it.

Love Yourself enough to Take Care of Yourself ❤️‍🩹,

Vanessa Workman ✌🏼

(Workman Hands 🤲🏼)