This is My Story - Part 3

Investigation #2

Now, here I am, 14 years old, in a state of distress, with a PART of my story exposed, being questioned by multiple people, counselors, doctors, male officers within our town police, sheriffs department, detectives, and probably the FBI again with talk of me testifying in court. Actually I don’t remember a SINGLE female being involved with anything except my counselor. I shut down. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to have to go to court. I didn’t want to deal with any of it! 😭

After that first meeting, where some of my secrets were leaked to the psychologist, I went home and burned every last one of my diaries with most, if not every, day of my hell recorded. I took every last one and ran straight for the small swampy/pond area in the back corner of the woods. They would be my secrets forever. I remember crying hysterically, ripping the pages from the books, knowing my life was about to change. I burned every bit of the strength I had in me to write those words on those pages. No one would ever know. It was my secret. 🔥

I eventually cooperated enough to tell them what they already knew. I told them about the incidents in that bloop diary entry… and then I lied. 😔 I told them that’s all that ever happened. The pain was excruciating trying to describe in detail those 2 much smaller events. I knew there was no way I could handle exposing the rest. And my parents!? What would they think!!! I felt so much shame, guilt, embarrassment, anger, & fear. My body felt like it would explode from everything trapped inside. 🤯 Divorce

Like most court cases, it dragged on. It kept being delayed and pushed out farther. The anticipation was a nightmare. My parents were never close to each other at all, by my memory. I can’t remember a single time seeing them hug or kiss or be affectionate with one another. I remember ONE group hug 🤨 when my Mom and I flew to my Aunts house. But my Mom decides NOW, in the middle of this court mess, she was going to leave my Dad. So not only am I trying to prepare and process for this court date but now my parents are splitting and my moms leaving. Great. My boyfriend at the time kind of knew what was going on but he wasn’t able to be my support either. He chose to go Hunting instead of staying with me the night before I had to testify. I was alone. 😟

Court Date

My Mother drove me to court. 👨‍⚖️ We were both subpoenaed to testify for the State Prosecution. My Father was subpoenaed to testify on behalf of the Defense but he did not go. I only remember 2 brief moments of that day. I remember walking by and seeing my friend with her mom sitting at a table in a small room outside the court room. The only other moment I currently have memories of is a moment when I was on the witness stand. I remember shaking terribly as he glared at me and his lawyer hounding me over and over saying my Mother testified to the court that I was sexually active with my boyfriend and how could that be if this really happened? How come no one noticed a difference in me and my grades didn’t slip if this really happened? That memory still plays a big part in my trauma and prevents me from fully passing the guilt where it belongs. 🥴

Sure enough he was found guilty of the charges and the judge sentenced him to the max 10 years for being his 2nd offense and showing no remorse. I was relieved but still broken. Now what? 👀 Very soon after his sentencing ANOTHER investigation came to light regarding him and his pregnant fiancés little sister. 😥 He was then sentenced to an additional 6 years. 16 & Pregnant

6 months after I testified in court I found myself pregnant at 16 years old. 🤰🏻 My boyfriend and I of a couple years had been fighting a lot so during a break around Christmas I found a new guy to spend the weekend with. Whoops. My boyfriend and I ended up getting back together and I told him the truth. He knew about the other guy, he knew the baby probably wasn’t his, but he begged me to let him raise it as his own. The other guy knew of the baby and wanted nothing to do with us. My boyfriend wanted me and said we would be a happy little family. 💗

A couple short months after my son was born I realized this was not the environment I wanted to raise my son in. 🥺 I was working, going to school, taking care of a baby (who spent more time with my Grandma than me), while my unemployed boyfriend spent all his time hunting, smoking pot, and starting to try cocaine! He wanted me… not “our” son. I gave him an ultimatum and I was out. To Grandmother’s house we went. It didn’t take long to fall into David’s arms after that. 🥰

Knight in Shining Armor 🛡

We were both working at McDonalds at 17 & 20 yrs old when one night my old neighbors niece walked into the lobby to apply for a job. I freaked out. I took off to the break room and had a total meltdown / panic attack. I was balling and for some reason David felt sorry for me and tried to calm the situation. I believe it was that moment he fell in love with me! 😍 We started to hang out and instantly connected.

The first night I spent with him, I confessed what I had been through as a kid, the whole story, for the first time, to anyone. Not in detail by any means but more than I had ever spoke voluntarily before. It was like word vomit that just kept flowing! I believe it was that moment that I knew he was my soul mate. 💞

The Beginning of Forever

He tried to take it slow since there was a kid involved and he didn’t want to get attached. That didn’t last long. He immediately was fantastic with him. We quickly became the cutest little family! But we had our issues. We were very young. I had been through severe trauma and I was not the easiest person to understand and get along with. He had his own demons but we stuck by each other’s side. I slowly released to him all the words that had been bottled up inside for years. It was starting to feel like it wasn’t just my secret anymore. It took some of the weight off my chest. But I still struggled. 🥵

We began dating in February 2008, got engaged February 2009, and married August 15, 2009! 11 days shy of my 19th Birthday! It was a simple and small wedding held in our small town square with a reception at the Legion Hall across the street. We continued our tradition of our weekend bonfires at our house with friends before heading to the hotel to start our married life! 🤩

And that’s where the next chapter in this saga begins…

Take care of you! 🤩

-Vanessa 💙

(Workman Hands 🤲🏻)